Why is romantic (emotion-based) marriage wrong?

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Permalink Reply by Simon James on September 1, 2011 at 9:55am

Nothing is Wrong !

Permalink Reply by darwin on September 3, 2011 at 8:45am

god not allow this he know what we have to need  //////// read in bible       prasnki 3 : 9 - 14

 

Permalink Reply by Simon James on September 3, 2011 at 10:06am

So, you are doing whatever God allows.......

 

Permalink Reply by servant on September 8, 2011 at 5:36pm

Why is romantic (emotion-based) marriage wrong?

 

Quite a number of young people are deceived into thinking that God blesses love

marriages. “Love marriage” here means a marriage that is entered into only because of a romantic relationship or an emotional involvement. The first marriage in the Bible was arranged by God.

A MARRIAGE ARRANGED BY GOD IS A MARRIAGE ENTERED INTO IN THE WILL OF GOD. Every godlymarriage should be thus arranged by God; i.e. the parties involved should know the will of God before the marriage. Genesis 6:2 speaks about the first “love marriages” in the Bible, which resulted in the universal judgment of the flood. Some children of God loved the beauty of some girls and married them—“they took them wives of all which they chose”—not “of which God chose.” And “the wickedness of man was great in the earth” (vs 2&5). In Genesis 29:11,18 we read that Jacob loved Rachel; it was “love at first sight”—and he kissed he r. In one sense, all his miseries started there.

 They give the excuse—“After all, I’m going to marry her.”  Some go far beyond kissing ! As in Genesis 6:2, Jacob found Rachel “beautiful” (Gen 29:17) and he chose to marry her. It was a lifelong, unnecessary suffering for poor Jacob. His father-in-law deceived him; having suffered for seven years to get the girl he had chosen, he suffered yet another seven years. With two marriages it did not stop; he had to have two more wives, Bilhah and Zilpah. Rachel’s end was tragic and sorrowful. She was buried “on the way,” and thus could not be buried in her father’s sepulchre (Abraham’s sepulchre) where Jacob buried Leah (Gen 49:31). Samson’s and Amnon’s love affairs also brought about destruction. The Bible doesn’t

say you should marry the woman you love but, love the woman you marry (Eph 5:25). It doesn’t say “Isaac loved Rebekah and she became his wife” but, “she became his wife; and he loved her” (Gen 24:67).

What happens when a man falls in love (has a romantic relationship) with a woman? His thoughts, feelings, imaginations, emotions, etc. are all centred around her. Even if he has not touched her physically, his emotional purity is lost. After the marriage he will not be able to love her fervently with a pure heart (see I Pet 1:22), as a pure heart is lost when emotional purity is lost. This is why most marriages based on romantic love end up in trouble or in divorce. The Oxford Dictionary defines “romance” as “relating to love, especially in a sentimental or idealized way.” It defines “sentimental” as “having or arousing feelings of

tenderness in an exaggerated or self-indulgent way.” Areas where self is dominating, choosing and planning—where God is not in the centre, or on the throne—can never be strong or stable. So such “love marriages” will never be as stable or successful as God-arranged marriages. “Marriage is honourable in all” (Heb 13:4). However, all marriages are not honourable. Honour is connected with purity (see I Thess 4:4). Therefore, if marriage is to be honourable, the couple involved must have kept themselves pure before marriage.

From Genesis 24:14&44 we find that God has appointed a woman for a man just as God appointed Eve for Adam, and that marrying the God-appointed person is a kindness to the parents. A love marriage is very often a distress to the parents (see Gen 27:46). Every blessed marriage will have threefold blessings: the blessings of God (Psa 128:1-6), the blessings of the servants of God (Gen 24:53), and the blessings of the parents (Gen 24:60; 28:1,2).

However, if God has called someone to serve Him being single, let him “abide in the same calling wherein he was called” (I Cor 7:20). If he gets married after knowing the call of God on his life, perhaps being tempted by wealth or by an offer of some earthly benefits, he is heading for life-long sorrow which may continue even in Eternity. In Genesis 24:50 we read, “The thing proceedeth from the Lord.” God’s people have to take “marriage” seriously and seek the counsel of God in this matter. God, on His part, will not leave us

helpless when we trust Him. One has to take the matter to the Lord in prayer before deciding on anything. Both parties concerned must honour God and be willing to follow the ways of the Lord. “Love (romantic) marriage” and “dowry” are neither the way of the Lord nor the will of God for God’s children. Before marriage, all the parties involved must have waited upon God and known without any shadow of doubt that it is the will of God. Such Godarranged

marriages may also have trials and troubles. However, the divine assurance that they

were united by God will help them to triumph over their trials for the glory of God.

Permalink Reply by G.Jeeva on September 20, 2011 at 3:37pm
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. So this verses tell us not to love the worldly things that includes the topic too. God is our father he knows well when to give us in marriage and whom to give it.
Permalink Reply by John Peter on December 1, 2011 at 12:51pm
 

And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
(Galatians 5:24)

 
Permalink Reply by Jessica on January 24, 2012 at 12:35am

Servant, you have asked the wrong question. Romantic (emotion-based) marriage is absolutely right.

Permalink Reply by Jessica on January 24, 2012 at 12:37am

Loving the world is completely different from loving ones wife/husband.

G.Jeeva said:

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. So this verses tell us not to love the worldly things that includes the topic too. God is our father he knows well when to give us in marriage and whom to give it.
Permalink Reply by Jessica on January 24, 2012 at 1:10am

What is the connection between Galatians 5:24 and someone loving their husband or wife.

If there is a connection, then how can any human being (including pastors) without love/affection/lust have children.

It is not good to get confused with verses and mis-quote them.

John Peter said:

 

And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
(Galatians 5:24)
 
Permalink Reply by Martin Solomon on February 2, 2012 at 2:36pm

Dear Friends,

 In my point of view (in the biblical sense) emotional based marriage is wrong, unless the groom or his father contacts the bride's father and ask bride's hand in marriage.

It does not mean that God's will has been thwarted, because whatever happens in this world is by the will of God. 

 

  

 

Permalink Reply by Jessica on February 2, 2012 at 9:16pm

Martin,

You say " emotional based marriage is wrong, unless the groom or his father contacts the bride's father and ask bride's hand in marriage.".

I agree the part that the groom's father and the bride's father should agree for the marriage, However that is not the main concern here. The most important point here is that whether the bride and the groom, like each other and really want to marry each other. If for example the bride and the groom don't like or don't want to get married, then the parents agreeing for the marriage is nothing or completely irrelevant.

Secondly you say "whateve happens in this world is by the will of God". I cannot accept the word "WHATEVER", so are you saying that the people killed in Tsunami is the will of God. The little kids who died in the school fire is the will of God.

Permalink Reply by Martin Solomon on February 2, 2012 at 10:36pm

Dear Jessica,

Let me tell you one think. I don't know about your God. But I know about my God. My God is sovereign.

My God is not the one who says " Oh my God, this kid died in this tsunami, what will I do". My God is the one whos says "I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please."

 

Pray tell, How many kids God killed in the period of Noah?

 

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